Talking Urinal?

The end of the world is near. The toilet is speaking to me.

Why one of the most popular news sites on the internet would link to this story is beyond me, but, as one of the sheeple, I of course let curiosity drive me to discover that ther is no end to stupid government programs masquerading as thoughtful social aid. Yes, the State of New Mexico (one of the 50 United States), is distributing talking urinal deodorant.

The idea obviously came from some bureaucrat who read about an advertising plan, and thought “hey, I want in on this gig!”. I am worried when the government wants to intrude on my privacy, let alone my private moments. Now they want in on something that’s just plain personal.

Of course, I’m not the only one to think this is beyond creepy, it’s just plain disgusting, and obnoxious. The comments on Digg are both hilarious, and telling.

I’m not surprised that advertisers would give this a try. I’ve worked in marketing, and those people will do anything. Apologies are cheap, and only the product gets besmirched, not the wunderkind who didn’t actually think through the eventual outcome. Sometimes I wish that you have to learn chess to be a marketing professional. Unfortunately, if your smart enough to play chess, you wouldn’t want to hang around most marketing people for very long, at least not without a lot of Purell and an occasional steam-sterilizer treatment.

There are the better blogs about this. Some are educational and funny, while others give the expected boring litany about this scandal of do-gooder-gone-wrong waste. Then there’s this article by a female reporter for a socialist web-rag that simply regurgitates the combined content of 3 prior articles (hey! I’m a reporter, who cares if I didn’t actually investigate anything! I’ve got a by-line and a pic! Bow to me!). If the state really wanted to get in early on the act with training people, they could simply start with Sesame Street’s approach to bathroom time. Of course, if there’s a stupid law or program, New York (my home state) is sure to get in on the action, and they don’t disappoint here either.
Now, real wit, however, is labelling this phenomena properly. Is it a “Pee-S.A”? Who about a TinkleTell? BeerTalk is far too easy, but the DUI-Looey is far too British for Americans to get while in a sotted stupor. If New Mexico is wanting to be successful, maybe they should call it the Corona-Croaner or the like. Of course, the makers of the device itself is made by a company called Wizmark.

One final note - the batteries apparently last for about 3 months. Who gets the job of changing them? YUK !

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